Report Details Psychological Toll of Prop 8

Proponents of California's anti-gay Proposition 8 argued that repealing marriage equality was necessary to protect children.

But a new study indicates that Proposition 8, and measures like it, have served to harm children and their families, causing kids and their same-sex parents alike to fear for the safety of their families, and for themselves as individuals.

The report, titled "Prop 8 Hurt My Family--Ask Me How," which was compiled by Marriage Equality USA, cited three reports from the American Psychological Association on the negative effect that anti-gay initiatives like Proposition 8 have on GLBT individuals, their children, and their communities, including their extended families and friends.

In the case of Proposition 8 specifically, which was the most expensive and one of the hardest-fought battles over a ballot initiative ever, the report claimed that the anti-gay measure harmed society as a whole.

In its Introduction, the report noted that, according to the APA's three studies, released earlier this month, residents of states where voters have approved anti-gay ballot initiatives have suffered elevated stress as "a direct result of the negative images and messaged associated with the ballot campaign and the passage of the amendment."

Study respondents also disclosed that they were "alienated from their community, fearful they would lose their children, and concerned they would become victims of anti-gay violence."

Associated effects involved not just gay parents and their children, but also other family members and "straight allies," who were subject to "secondary minority stress," the report said.

Marriage Equality USA conducted its own survey by means of town hall meetings and an on-line questionnaire that more than 3,100 respondents answered. The study concluded that, "LGBTI people experienced increased verbal abuse, homophobia, physical harm, and other discrimination associated with or resulting from the Prop 8 campaign," and that "Children of same-sex couples express fear due to direct exposure to homophobia and hate and concerns that the passage of Prop 8 means they could be taken from their families and targeted for further violence."

Also, "LGBTI youth and their supporters experienced increased bullying at schools as Prop 8's passage fosters a supportive environment for homophobic acts of physical and emotional violence."

Furthermore, the measure, which was heavily promoted as "pro-family," had the exact opposite result: "Families are torn apart as relatives divide on Prop 8," the study found.

In a wider sense, society as a whole suffered from the measure, which revoked marriage equality and threw the legal marriages of 18,000 families into doubt. The study found that "Communities are destroyed from the aftermath of abusive behavior towards them during local street demonstrations, neighborhood divisions, and the impact of 'knowing your neighbor' voted against your family."

The report cited the resolve demonstrated by gay and lesbian families and the GLBT community and its straight allies, who remain "determined to fight until every family receives the same dignity and protection that only marriage can provide."

The Introduction continues, noting, "But the report also documents the inherent unfairness and strife that comes from putting the fundamental rights of some of the community up for a popular vote and points out the lasting harm and fear that is generated from these campaigns."

Within the body of the report, specific harm to GLBT individuals, families, and the GLBT community, as well as society as a whole, was documented as resulting from the Proposition 8 campaign against gay families.

"Not only did LGBTI people lose their right to marry," the report read, "but they were verbally assaulted, had property vandalized and destroyed, received death threats, and several people reported being terminated from their jobs because they were gay and/or due to their opposition to Prop 8."

Personal stories were included in the report, among them accounts of harassment and property destruction that were suffered by opponents of Proposition 8 and by same-sex married couples.

One such account read, "My employer received anonymous threats about me and implying personal risk for the children I teach. I was suspended with pay while the school district assessed the threat."

The testimony continued, "My home was vandalized with anti-gay slogans and slurs. Our car was destroyed when someone put sugar in the tank.

"All this because of an article about our marriage."

The report summarized, "Living through this campaign exerted a high toll on the sense of well-being and connection within the larger community that affected everyone."

Right-wing publications have highlighted a scattering of isolated incidents in which anti-gay demonstrators faced harsh treatment, but the overwhelming majority of the hundreds of anti-Prop 8 demonstrations that have taken place since the passage of the anti-gay amendment have been peaceful.

Nor have anti-gay demonstrators had to wonder whether their personal safety was at risk in the wake of Prop. 8's passage to the extent that gay and lesbian people have; news of a California resident and lesbian being gang-raped by assailants yelling homophobic slurs weeks after voters approved Prop. 8 only served to sharpen the sense that the physical safety of GLBT people was less assured after the passage of the amendment.

The report quoted a Santa Clara resident as saying, "Since Prop 8 passed, my wife had developed significant anxiety.

"She feels like at any moment we will be hate crime victims. When she heard about the lesbian in Richmond who was gang raped, it was as if they were coming for us next."

Added the contributor of that testimony, "I think a lot of the LGBTI community feels that way."

As shocking as the success of the anti-gay ballot initiative may have been--one respondent said that "I never thought Prop 8 would pass"--the effect on the children of same-sex parents was even more distressing. Testified one participant in the study, "My six-year-old, the day after we lost Prop 8, asked me, with tears running down his face, if we were still a family."

Another disclosed, "It has been so sad for all of us, but I feel the worst for our oldest daughter. She is 13. She was raised knowing that there are different types of families and that is ok. Our family was just normal to her because that is what she knew. Then Prop 8 came."

Continued the respondent, "For the first time, it was pointed out to her that our family was not okay with everyone, that people all around us felt we were not equal.

"Hate was everywhere," added the respondent. "I wish she did not have to go through that."

Another parent wrote, "During a rally, my son and I were called ugly names. He is eleven and I don't know how calling him a faggot is acceptable."

Another parent recounted that at one rally, "Several groups of 'Yes on 8' people repetitively came up and proceeded to scream obscenities and terrorize the children.

"One person even got into my face and stated, 'If it were up to me, I'd kill all the fags.'

"This scared the children so much, we had to leave."

The report noted that the advertising promoting Proposition 8 also frightened children of same-sex families. "My eight year old daughter heard many of those radio and TV ads, and I can tell she is still reeling inside," wrote one parent.

"We talk about it as she brings it up," the parent continued, "but she just ran smack into discrimination, aimed at her on TV."

Another parent noted, "It's not gay parents that hurt our kids, it is homophobia."

Children also suffered at school, where the anti-gay atmosphere fostered by the pro-Prop 8 campaign led to increased bullying. Wrote one study respondent, "I work in a high school and the students have begin gay bashing openly now.

"They feel the majority has voted that being gay is not ok, thus they can make fun of [gay students]."

An administrator at a school in conservative Kern County wrote in that, "I see Prop 8 harming my Gay Straight Alliance students every day.

"And now that Prop 8 has passed, students are much, much more bold about bullying our gay and perceived day students."

The Proposition 8 campaign also seemed to have brought other prejudices to the surface: one student wrote that, "...a hate crime occurred on campus, visually threatening with a noose and confederate [sic] flag and warning students that if they were black, queer or hippie that they were not welcome.

"It was disturbing," added the student, a resident of San Luis Obispo County.

Adults modeled anti-gay and disruptive behavior, noted several respondents, including a straight 16-year-old student who wrote, "Whole protesting outside my high school, many people gave me 'the finger'."

The student, a resident of Orange County, went on to write that, "while this is something I see often, it was hard to see it from my friends' and classmates' parents."

A parent wrote that, "My 9-year old internalized the confusing message that the passage of Prop 8 was the equivalent of criminalizing out family."

Wrote one parent of pro-Prop 8 advocates' claims that marriage equality would lead to children being taught about gay marriage in school, "They said that the 'rights of children are more important than the desires of adults.' But here's a question: 'What if your child is gay?"

Indeed, the report's research yielded the result that 45% of respondents under the age of 18 "personally experience[d]... homophobia, hate speech, threats or violence."

Far from being a "pro-family" measure, in actual practice Proposition 8 has harmed many families, perhaps irreparably. One survey participant confided that, "Prop 8 has split our family apart.

"My husband's sister and her husband voted Yes on 8 and they told us they hoped it wouldn't affect our relationship while staying in our home for a week over Thanksgiving."

However, "I am no longer their family and they will no longer be part of my life."

Added the survey participant, "Prop 8 was hateful and destructive to families everywhere."

Wrote another respondent, "My sister and I had a very painful argument when I found out she voted Yes on 8. This was two weeks after she said very loving words about my wife and me at our wedding reception.

"The issue has created a split in my family as each person takes sides--it's just devastating."

Families were not the only victims of the divisive campaign; neighborhoods, too, suffered. Wrote one straight respondent, "The large presence of Yes on 8 lawn signs in my neighborhood and the abundance of Yes on 8 bumper stickers in my community left me with a hostile feeling (and I'm not gay).

"I can't imagine how unwelcoming that atmosphere must have felt to any gay neighbors."

In at least one instance, Yes on 8 literature was used by pro-Prop 8 canvassers as a deliberate insult: "My partner was in the hospital and I came home after 2 AM to find Yes on 8 stickers and fliers covering m door," wrote one survey respondent.

"A neighbor saw them coming through the neighborhood and said we were a married gay couple and that the Yes on 8 people were not welcome on our street. They covered my door [with Yes on 8 material] and then left."

Another respondent described standing on a street corner in his own neighborhood with a No on 8 sign--and being told by local people to "go home."

"I replied that I am home," wrote the respondent.

"I feel the pain of knowing that my neighbors.... couldn't bear the fact that I lived among them."

Wrote another, "I try to be a good neighbor." But, "It doesn't matter who I really am when a $40 million smear campaign is launched against me and my family."

With the passage of Prop 8 having created a precedent in which existing legal rights for minorities are repealed through a ballot initiative by majority vote, any sense of civic belonging has suffered: wrote one respondent, a resident of Solano County, "Two-thirds of my neighbors voted to take away my right to marry and that hurts,

"But now, I worry that other civil rights will be taken away from me and my family."

The report concludes with a recommendation that the California Supreme Court, due to hear a challenge to Proposition 8 in March, should overturn the ballot initiative, which passed by a bare majority, and which plaintiffs say did more than amend the state constitution. According to the legal complaint Prop. 8, the measure went beyond its mandate and revised the constitution--a legal action that cannot rely upon a simple majority vote.

The text of the Introduction reminds the reader of the words of William Howard Taft, who served both as President of the United States and as Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court.

Said Taft, "Constitutions are checks upon the hasty action of the majority.

"They are self-imposed restraints of a whole people upon a majority of them to secure sober action and a respect for the rights of the minority."

The report included an appendix listing counseling services and other community resources, "due to the significant reports of harassment, verbal assault and physical violence experienced by LGBTI people and straight allies."